PEOPLE-PLEASING SERIES: PART I

PART I - THE HIDDEN COST OF "NICE" : WHY PEOPLE-PLEASING ISN'T SO HARMLESS

Have you ever said “yes” when everything in you wanted to say “no”? Do you apologize too much, avoid conflict like the plague, or feel guilty just thinking about putting yourself first? These are just a few ways people-pleasing shows up—and while it may feel like you're keeping the peace, you're likely losing a bit of yourself in the process.

People-pleasing often stems from a deep desire to be liked, accepted, or avoid rejection. It might look like overcommitting your time, constantly checking in on others' emotions, or saying what you think others want to hear—even if it means bending your truth. You might find yourself feeling drained after social interactions or stuck in relationships that feel one-sided. Clinically, we see this behavior tied to underlying anxiety, low self-esteem, and a chronic fear of disconnection. In fact, a 2022 study in Behavior Therapy linked chronic people-pleasing to difficulties in assertiveness and boundary-setting, often resulting in emotional burnout.

What’s important to recognize is that people-pleasing isn’t just a personality quirk—it’s a survival strategy, often learned early in life. It may have helped you navigate unpredictable environments, earn praise, or avoid conflict. But in adulthood, it can leave you feeling resentful, unseen, and even unsure of who you are outside of others’ expectations.

The good news? This pattern can be unlearned. With the right support and strategies, people-pleasers can build stronger boundaries, reconnect with their own needs, and experience relationships that are more genuine and reciprocal. In next week’s email—Part 2 of our People-Pleasing Series—we’ll share specific tools and techniques you can start using right away to loosen the grip of this pattern and begin showing up more authentically in your life.

If you're ready to get personalized support around this, our team at Restoration Psychological Services is here to help. We offer a wide range of specialties, therapy rates, and appointment times—including evenings and weekends—to fit your schedule and needs. Schedule with one of our compassionate therapists today, and start your journey toward a more empowered, authentic you.