ANXIETY, PERFECTIONISM, & PEOPLE-PLEASING :The Hidden Trifecta Holding You Back

By Dr. Rachel White LMFT

If you've ever felt like you’re constantly walking a tightrope—trying to be everything for everyone, fearing failure, and quietly battling the pressure to always get it right—you’re not alone. Anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing are deeply intertwined patterns that often masquerade as ambition or kindness. But under the surface, they frequently reflect deep emotional distress and can have serious consequences for individuals and families alike.

Clinically, these three traits often feed into each other. Anxiety creates a persistent sense of internal alarm: What if I mess up? What if they’re disappointed in me?

 Perfectionism swoops in with a tempting (but impossible) solution: Just don’t make any mistakes. And people-pleasing becomes the coping strategy: If I can keep everyone happy, maybe I’ll feel safe.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), perfectionism is a common feature in generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and studies have shown that people-pleasers are at higher risk for anxiety, burnout, and depression.

These patterns may look “high-functioning” from the outside—straight-A students, reliable coworkers, helpful partners, children (typically eldest children) that are easy to get back into line —but internally, they’re exhausting. Over time, individuals may feel resentful, emotionally numb, or chronically overwhelmed. Families can also suffer; perfectionistic parents often pass down unrealistic expectations to children, and people-pleasing behaviors can make healthy boundaries feel threatening. Emotional intimacy suffers when authenticity is replaced with performance.

But here's the empowering truth: these patterns can change. The first step is recognizing that anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing are not personality flaws—they’re learned strategies often rooted in past experiences, trauma, or family dynamics. You learned to survive by striving, pleasing, or staying “safe” through control. With support and intention, you can unlearn these behaviors and create a healthier, freer way of living.

This August, Dr. Rachel White, PhD, LMFT, is leading a

2-Day online workshop titled "Unburdened" specifically designed to help individuals who are ready to break free from the anxiety-perfectionism-people-pleasing-self-criticism cycle. This workshop is specifically designed for women.

Starting Thursday, August 21, 2025, from 12:00–2:00 PM, participants will meet weekly in a supportive, guided virtual space to explore root causes, learn practical skills, and begin rewriting these old narratives. The online setting allows for convenience and comfort—you can join from your home or office, without the stress of commuting or rearranging your day.

Group workshops offer a unique healing experience. In addition to expert facilitation, you gain connection with others who get it—people who understand the struggle of always holding it together. This can be profoundly validating and often accelerates growth in ways individual therapy alone can’t.

At Restoration Psychological Services, we’re here to help you or your loved ones overcome these challenges. Our therapists are trained in treating anxiety, trauma, perfectionism, relational stress, and more. We offer a range of specialties, rates, and appointment options—including daytime, evening, and weekend availability—so you can find care that fits your life.

Ready to stop living in overdrive? Whether you want to attend the workshop with Dr. Rachel White or begin one-on-one therapy, we’re here to support your journey.

Schedule your appointment or register for the August workshop at Restoration Psychological Services today—and take the first step toward a calmer, more connected life.